i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
