party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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