I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize