trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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