i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize