So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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