She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
