She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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