Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Floor bacon is actually really good
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