i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
ttyl tear gas
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Randomize
