no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
