College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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