Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
