so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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