i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
