I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize