Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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