i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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