What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
zippers are such a cool invention
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
