Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im holly from the hills drunk
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
