after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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