Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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