just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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