I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
