I hate your face
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
