I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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