I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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