woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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