haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
