There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She told me I should be a condom model.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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