If i come over, it means nothing
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
