So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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