I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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