i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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