I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
