dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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