you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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