Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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