Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Ketchup is God's man juice
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
