I just cut my nipple shaving
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
