Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
