Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
