Pants 0. Shit 1.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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