we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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