yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
