Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
