The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
