She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize