If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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