No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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