Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
