Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
