If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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