i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
