Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
