The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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