maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
