My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
